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Life as I know it… plus commentary

The Eagle has landed

with 4 comments

I hate travel days.  Almost goes without saying… I don’t know anyone who really likes the whole airport experience.  I mean, sure, they’re made the thing as painless as possible; having a Starbucks every twenty feet is helpful.  As a whole though, I find the whole thing pretty annoying.  For instance… if you can’t find your keys, the plane leaves anyway.  Not that this happened to me, but if it did, it would. I like when the plane leaves at 9:10 when it says 9 pm departure.

I tried to reduce the amount of travel stress by planning my flight later in the day.  That way I could have a nice breakfast, lolligag around the hotel a little while and then have a peaceful trip back home.  This was not to be.

The place I stayed was on the harbor which made for a really fantastic view and ambiance if it wasn’t for all the darn ships.  You see, when it’s foggy out, like it was on Monday morning, the dumb lighthouse sends out a low blast every five minutes or so.  Which I suppose is nice if you’re a boat with no radar and can’t see in the fog but sucks if you’re a sleepy tourist who only wants to sleep past eight.  The real beauty of the horn was when actual boats would come in to the harbor (when I say harbor I guess I really mean near the shore line of the Puget Sound)(which is not a harbor)(it’s a sound).  As the light house kept playing its melancholy bass note every five minutes (exclaiming Shore! to all the boats), the incoming ships would play their two note boat horns in response (exclaiming I know! Thanks!).  Really annoying if yu’re trying to sleep in, like I said.  (Oh gosh.. what was the point of all this?  Oh yeah, I was saying how much I liked staying on the harbor.  You should try it, it’s pretty cool).

So, since I was up at the crack of fog anyway, I headed up to my favorite cafe in Seattle, only to find out they only serve cafe food on the weekends and I was stuck with the option of cake for breakfast (muffins, coffee cake, bundt cake, etc).  Luckily they did offer an egg and bacon sandwich on a toasted onion poppyseed roll that was fantastic.  And Seattle coffee really is terrific.  The barrista there made a leaf design in the foam that only made the double shot, decaf, non fat, easy mocha that much more transcendent.

I walked back, which was much easier since the forty five degree angle of the street was now working in my favor.  Packed everything up including the gel container and black socks left by a room sharer (bonus!), paid the bill (yikes!), and got in the towncar (swanky!).

It’s odd to me that you can get a towncar to the airport for $35 and a taxi, which is smaller, smells worse and is usually driven by a person of ill repute ends up costing three large.  OK, that’s an exageration and an uncalled for use of betting slang but you get the point.

My towncar was driven by Ishmael.  Ishmael was a fabric seller in his shop in Africa.  I love the way Africans tell you they’re from there.  First, they never say they’re from Sierra Leone or Angola or Botswana.  Maybe they think we don’t know where any of those places are so they just say Africa.  And they don’t say it like we do… all Anglicized and stuff.  Aaaaafricuh.  They say it Ahhh-free-cah.  I can almost smell the rainforest.  Anyway, Ishmael wanted to hear all about LA and wanted to know if I knew a place where they sold whole pallets of shoes.  I wasn’t sure why Ishmael needed this many of the same shoe but I’m not a sociologist or anything so I wasn’t going to ask someone something like that if he could make me miss my flight.  He was amazed the LA has as many freeways as we do and told me that Seattle only has two… the 99 and the High Five.  I kid you not… the High Five.  I had my own little Borat moment on my way to the airport and I’m calling it that from now on.

Got to the airport with lots of time thanks to my Ahhh-free-cahn friend and got checked in.  Except there was a Starbucks before the security check in so I had to stop there.  Liquid lunch, you see.  I happily grabbed my drink and happened to notice the sign that said “TSA will not allow you to bring your drink through security”.  Oh man.  I just bought this.  So I walked over to the TSA agent who was sitting at a small card table with a variety of bottles on display and a big sign that said NO!  This poor guy was obviously bored. I could tell because he had was slouched, had his hands in his pocket and his mouth had been shaped by repetition into the form of “no water bottles”.  “Can I bring this through?”  “Nope.”  “What if it’s just ice?”  “That’s iffy.”  Ice is iffy apparently.  Next time you hear of a terrorist holding a plane hostage by chai covered ice, you’ll know it’s cause I accidentally wore down the TSA agent.

So off we go through security.  Computer out.  DVD player out. Shoes off.  Jacket off.  Empty pockets.  Keys, camera, coins, film, cell phone into tray.  Replace, replace, replace, replace, replace. Put on, put on. Insert insert and we’re back in business. 

Hurry to gate 12 which is boarding early. Hey! Everyone is on!  We’re leaving early. Oh. Oh.  Maintenance sees a weird plate on the plane. Forty minutes go by and then someone decides the plane needs de-icing in 40 degree weather.  By the way, even when it’s forty degrees out, the plane still gets hot from 200 people breathing.  Just so you know.

The rest of the flight was fairly uneventful, other than portable DVD players are great; Superman Returns is longer than the flight back; fat guys in the seat next to you that hog the armrest suck; and thank goodness Oden picked me up just as I was stepping onto the curb with my bag (after four previously arranged rides were forced to cancel).

And that, lady & men, is how a travel day goes.

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Written by arnold

February 6, 2007 at 9:47 am

Posted in Travel

4 Responses

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  1. glad to know you’re home safely.

    curtis

    February 6, 2007 at 3:47 pm

  2. Lady and Men Alteration? Is that where transsexuals get their surgeries?

    Peggy C

    February 7, 2007 at 9:19 am

  3. maybe they just get rid of annoying habits.

    arnold

    February 7, 2007 at 10:31 am

  4. Would that it were so easy!

    Peggy C

    February 8, 2007 at 8:30 pm


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