a pirate’s life for me
“Not what I expected” is the the first phrase that comes to mind with this movie. After a remarkably bleak and dark opening number, I thought to myself “this is nothing like the first one in tone.” In fact… I was thinking that if I had a kid under 12, he wouldn’t be seeing this movie. The tone of Pirates is definitely darker and the violence amped up just a bit more… a kid gets hung, a geisha takes a bullet to the forehead… all depicted without any acknowledgement that kids are going to want to see this movie.
All that being said, Pirates was a romp on the high seas packed with intrigue, suspense, fighting, double and triple crosses and other assorted piratey things. I’ll probably need to watch this movie again. There were eight main and major supporting roles (that I could count off the top of my head) and each one had his own agenda and side agreements that the others may or may not have known about. A pirate org chart with solid and dashed lines to show alliances would have been helpful. I should note that some of the confusion may still be related to my own personal, Anakin instigated, sleep schedule realignment.
Even not knowing fully who was with who, the battles were fun; the depiction of the torturous frustration of life in Hell was pretty funny if a tad long; and the sea battle was rollicking, as long as you could handle the suspension of disbelief (I’ve been up a ship’s mast and believe me…. you would not be able to have a sword fight on a yardarm… especially if the ship is circling a maelstrom).
To close… some things I learned from watching Pirates III:
1. If you have a 50+ ship armada versus a 10 ship armada, no one else will fight if the lead boats engage one another.
2. If you get cornered in a conversation, just yell “more steam” for no apparent reason.
3. A ship with 24 cannons on each side will not fire a shot if two ships pass it on either side firing.
4. You can capsize a galleon by running back and forth across the deck.
5. Keith Richards is still unintelligible but more clearly so in Dolby Surroundsound.
6. If a movie is three hours long, it deserves three endings.
Still… a solid B+. Best movie of the year so far.