Life as I know it… plus commentary

tiger tiger

with 11 comments

mainchar_hobbes.jpgI can’t help it.  I’m fascinated by this tiger attack that happened over the holidays up in San Francisco.

The quick version is three men were attacked by a tiger while visiting a zoo.  One guy died and two others were seriously injured.  Later, they found empty vodka bottles in the car of the victims.  And even later, a mom reported she saw four boys taunting the tigers, growling at them and throwing objects at the animals.  Apparently they found a footprint on the top of the fence that may indicate someone was standing or hanging on the fence.

Evidently Tatiana had enough and leaped the fence (possibly even using one of the taunters as leverage) and got out.  Police are now getting warrants to examine the cell phones of the three men for pictures and video recordings. 

Obviously it’s a sad situation.  Someone died after all and others seriously injured.

Of course, me being me, I am a litle fixated on the fact that the men were all run down by the tiger.  I would think that maybe the tiger would grab somebody… like the guy on the fence.  I would have thought the other two would have gotten away.  If that was me, I’d have made for the overpriced bistro and dived through the order window and slammed it shut.  I can see the tiger smashing into the glass face first… its face smashed against the glass, slowly sinking to the ground like on the cartoons.  My friend Cheryl says she’d have ducked down behind an overturned table.  I’m gonna miss my friend Cheryl.  While I’m safe in the bistro, the world’s biggest cat would be having Cheryl tartar.

I’m not sure abut this because I’m not an animal scientist, but I think tigers are only fast in the short run and can’t really run over the long haul.  And that’s where I’d get the advantage cause I’m fast baby, FAST!


Written by arnold

January 7, 2008 at 11:46 am

Posted in Humor, News items

11 Responses

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  1. I will leave aside for now your long-held and deep-seated notion that you can outrun a tiger (after all, you only brought it up in a playful, entertaining way) and get down to more serious business, namely, why has your sidebar not been updated sense Dec. 17?

    The Kyle

    January 8, 2008 at 8:17 am

  2. (Sorry about “sense.” I meant “since.” If it was my website I’d correct it. But now it’s just out there, forever engraved in stone on the web.)

    The Kyle

    January 8, 2008 at 11:01 am

  3. What? What’s this? Frankly I’m shocked. SHOCKED!

    Shocked that someone who stomps around saying typos privately are OK but typos in public forums are a travesty of the human condition would post such a balatantly wrong usage of a word is heinous.

    “Oh the humanity” is the only phrase that adequately sums up the feeling here.


    January 8, 2008 at 11:23 am

  4. Change “litle” to “little” in your post.

    The Kyle

    January 8, 2008 at 11:37 am

  5. As I have faced many tigers your best bet is to hit them behind the left ear, unless you know the secret chant I learned growing up as a kid


    January 8, 2008 at 5:26 pm

  6. Once again, I’m no animal scientist, but I do know there aren’t any tigers in South Africa. The ones with the manes are lions. It’s an easy mistake.


    January 8, 2008 at 11:02 pm

  7. Thanks for updating the sidebar. (Please close the quote on your “random communication.” I won’t mention the rest of the typos in your post. It would be in bad taste.)


    The Kyle

    January 9, 2008 at 4:27 pm

  8. I like how you mention without mentioning. Everybody likes that. It’s like marmalade.


    January 9, 2008 at 6:57 pm

  9. I can see it now…
    “Girl Becomes Tiger Tartar…Hope She Tasted Good!”
    My 15 min. of fame…waisted on a tiger! (I hoped it would be for something better than being a snack for a tiger)


    January 9, 2008 at 7:14 pm

  10. I have seen you run, not sure I would call that fast my friend.


    January 9, 2008 at 7:14 pm

  11. Cheryl: First, you can’t become Tiger Tartar. That would mean you’ve suddenly become composed of tiger meat.

    Also… waisted is a fashion term, like a high waisted dress. Maybe that’s what you mean. Like you’d end up around the waist of the tiger… 🙂

    Justin: When have you ever seen me run?


    January 10, 2008 at 2:37 am

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